Mentor Me WaterCooler

Happy Mentoring to All

2007-11-30T19:34:00.000-05:00

It's the holiday season, and I'm trying to practice a little personal sustainability (yet again). So I'm letting Watercooler, my Mentor Me eletter, serve as my blog post this month.

As Suzanne Lieurance, who mentors writers, says, "Try it!"

And while you're there, visit my website and sign up for your free subscription (there's a sign-up box on the right, just below my photo).

If you sign up this month, I'll send you a complimentary copy of "20 Things to Do Before, During, and After Your Performance Review." Just email me and put "20 Things" in the header.

Happy holidays, happy mentoring!

True or False: Reward Systems Motivate People to Perform

2007-10-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

Do performance assessment tools boost your motivation? Say, as much as money or other incentives such as promotions?

Or are you a self-starter who shuns external motivators in favor of the zest you get simply from doing a job you care about?

A recent article in a workforce e-zine raised this question in response to an HR director’s inquiry about “manipulation for a good cause.” The HR director wrote, “We aren’t trying to frighten people but we are interested in enhancing overall performance by giving people non-monetary incentives to go the extra mile.”

The author of the response, David Peck, said that while performance assessment system profiles could be used to help select and develop employees, they’re not ideal tools for boosting motivation. In fact, forget about these tools entirely for motivational purposes, and instead hold up a mirror to your firm’s leadership and its hiring and retention practices.

Peck suggested asking the following questions when motivation is low:

Are leaders inadvertently doing things that hinder motivation?

What are your firm’s standards for hiring and performance when it comes to self-motivation? Are you hiring or hanging on to slackers?

Peck notes an interesting, perhaps counter-intuitive, finding about the connection between rewards and high-performing companies. This finding surfaced as a result of a study by Jim Collins, the author of From Good to Great. Collins found that companies that do consistently well over time give no thought to how to motivate their people—because they only hire and retain people who are self-motivated in the first place.

What do you think? Is using external motivation systems a good thing, or is it simply treating people like rats in a maze?

The Shape of Mentoring Is Changing

2007-09-29T10:30:00.000-04:00

Mentoring used to be a long-term, one-way, and usually top-down relationship. Typically an older, more experienced professional mentored a younger "protege," in a formal or informal mentoring relationship.

Today, mentoring happens in a variety of configurations: in formal mentoring programs (inside or outside the workplace), and in formal or informal arrangements such as peer mentoring, reverse mentoring, flash mentoring, and "mentors of the moment."

Mentoring is an especially important career advancement tool for women, who are typically left out of "old boys' networks" or who have lost traction in their careers because they may have stepped out to bear and raise children.

The Greater Washington Network (of ASAE and the Center for Association Leadership) is devoting an afternoon of its program "In Honor of Women & the Women Who Advance Excellence in Associations" to exploring the variety of mentoring options now available.

Kathleen Matthews, Executive Vice President, Global Communications and Public Affairs for Marriott International, will keynote the November 7th event. Sessions will cover everything from the evolution of the woman leader, to using conflict and negotiation for mutual advantage, and making yourself heard.

As noted above, the day includes a mentoring workshop in the afternoon. To date, scheduled speakers for the mentoring session include Anitha Raj (on tips for mentors and proteges), Scott Derrick (on Flash Mentoring), and yours truly (on mentoring from the inside out, including finding "mentors of the moment").

Online registration is available. See you there?

Women's Leadership A Hot Topic

2007-08-31T12:33:00.000-04:00

In June I was privileged to attend and to speak at the Third Rolls-Royce Women's Leadership Conference in Montreal. A global conference for women role models, the event was an incredible experience, and one of the most creative conferences I've ever attended. Business and leadership topics and speakers, yes, but also performance poetry, drumming, and art rounded out the two-day program.

Rolls-Royce is one of a number of forward-thinking companies that have decided not to short-circuit their leadership pools by grooming only people with Y chromosomes. The company has launched a leadership network for female employees in the UK and plans to support similar networks in other countries as part of its diversity policy.

The conference got started more straightforwardly than you can imagine. Here's what I heard—two years ago, a group of women at the corporate offices in Chantilly, Virginia, suggested the program and were given free rein. As attendees tell it, each successive conference has gotten not only bigger but better.

It's inspiring to see established companies change their culture (contrary to what you may think, RR is not in the luxury automobile business—that part of the business was sold in the 1970s—but in the civil aerospace, defense aerospace, marine, and energy industries, and therefore heavily staffed by engineers with Y chromosomes). I know it hasn't been an easy transition; the women's stories at the conference attest to that.

But change is happening, and from what I heard, it's being genuinely supported by top management. That's good news, especially in view of a new report from Catalyst that cited double-bind dilemmas for women leaders in corporate America.

Despite the "damned or doomed" tenor of the information presented in the Catalyst report, it seems that leadership in all its guises, including mentoring, is enjoying a new groundswell of support. Maybe we're waking up again, maybe we're just seeing things with fresh eyes.

But I'll write more on that, as it pertains to mentoring, next month.

Book review: Coaching Soup for the Cartoon Soul

2007-07-31T10:09:00.000-04:00

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.

—Frank A. Clark

And that is what Jed Niederer, coauthor with Germaine Porché of Coaching Soup for the Cartoon Soul, did—looked at "problems" coaches help solve, found the humor, and created this easy and entertaining read.

You don't have to be a coach to appreciate the cartoons. "Opportunities for coaching are all around us—spouses, children, friends, relatives, and co-workers," Niederer says. "And the benefits from humor are pretty surprising."

For one, laughter releases endorphins, a chemical 10 times more powerful than the pain-relieving drug morphine, into the body with the same exhilarating effect as doing strenuous exercise. These endorphins can lead to a sense of well-being and optimism. And a good hearty laugh burns 3.5 calories!

Laughing and having fun on the job also make a positive difference. For instance:

Dr. David Abramis at Cal State Long Beach discovered that people who have fun on the job are more creative, more productive, better decision-makers, and get along better with co-workers. They also have fewer absentee, late, and sick days than people who aren't having fun.
A survey by Hodge-Cronin & Associates found that of 737 CEOs surveyed, 98 percent preferred job candidates with a sense of humor to those without.
Another survey indicated that 84 percent of the executives thought that employees with a sense of humor do a better job than people with little or no sense of humor.
Fun breaks up boredom and reduces fatigue.

So go out and have some fun, and consider checking out Coaching Soup, which will be released on August 14. Caveat: Don't be put off, as I was at first, by the "bathroom humor" on the front cover. What's inside more than makes up for it.

And if you're into the serious side of coaching, note that many of the cartoons reference coaching wisdom explored at more depth in Niederer's previous book, Coach Anyone about Anything. So you may just want to do a two-for-one.

P.S. On August 14th Niederer and Porché will be offering a special three book package— buy the set and get free downloadable gifts (even complete eBooks of new releases). If you can wait, however, you can go directly to Amazon now.

Keeping A Happiness Journal

2007-06-28T13:23:00.001-04:00

You've probably noticed: interest in living a happier life—at home and at work—is on the rise.

In 1999, the Dalai Lama published the best-selling The Art of Happiness. In 2004, Greg Hicks and Rick Foster published How We Choose to Be Happy , and Dan Baker and Cameron Stauth wrote about how the "new science of happiness" could change lives for the better.

Then this year, emotional intelligence expert Dan Goleman co-authored Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, and Daniel Gilbert weighed in on the human condition by writing a Stumbling on Happiness, which says that though we may think we know what makes us happy, we are often flat-out wrong.

So if it's a happy life you're after, how do you know what to pursue? Or is it true that happiness is the journey, not the destination?

As the oldest child in a family of five, with a heavy emphasis on responsibility -- you know, paying attention to "shoulds" and "oughts" instead of to the little voice that said "I want to" or "I don't want to"— I find that question intriguing.

Imagine: "being happy" (instead of "making a difference" or "being responsible" or "living up to your potential") can be enough reason for living. The question has even more weight, now that I have just returned from my mother's funeral.

Last summer and fall, I started keeping a "happiness journal" (true to form, this is in the back of the spiral notebook that lists ideas for an upcoming writing project!). I decided to simply observe when I was feeling happy, and to record the circumstances. I guess I'm collecting data—seeing in black and white what makes me happy, so that I can build more of it into my life.

On my list:

attending theater (I loved Nine Parts of Desire at DC's Arena Stage)
watching my nieces and nephews play Marco Polo in the swimming pool
keeping Sunday morning "quiet"—reading the paper and eating a bagel
pink
creating a writing retreat, knowing what a gift it is to have time to get away and write
being silly, like wearing my earrings backwards, that is to say, putting my CZ studs in the bottom hole and my hoops in the top
creating a blog entry or fixing a broken blind
knowing when I've worked long/hard enough on a project, and doing something fun without guilt

What's on your list? And how do you weigh in on the "happiness as journey vs. happiness as destination" question?

EAPs and Your Privacy

2007-05-30T22:04:00.000-04:00

If you needed help—if you had problems with your home or work life—would you, could you, get the help you needed from an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)?

The facts: as many as one in five employers in the UK now offers an EAP, defined as a confidential, free-to-use service that allows all employees (and sometimes their immediate families) to talk about problems with their work and home lives. EAP counselors typically help employees resolve issues by providing comprehensive assessments and short-term counseling. (In the U.S., about half of all full-time workers have access to EAPs.)

Employees and their on-site counselors have the same privacy privilege as psychotherapists and their patients. Yet at least in the UK, only one in 10 employees takes advantage of EA programs. Maybe because of concerns about confidentiality.

How far can EAPs go to help employees and at the same time protect their privacy? It's an interesting question. I'm curious to know what your experience is, either personal or hearsay. I think there's some connection (that I haven't yet precisely defined) between this issue and one I've been watching for awhile as part of my health education research— that of mental health parity.

Post a comment if you like. Meanwhile, here's some information on options offered by EAPs "across the pond."

Networking for Introverts

2007-04-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

Rob May at Businesspundit offers the following tips for introverts—those of us who restore our psychic energy with solitude rather than by schmoozing. I'm editing the tips on his list, then adding a few of my own:

Don’t spend too much time on it.
Do cool things. Don't network just for the sake of networking.
Network with a friend. An extroverted friend can introduce you to folks; you and an introverted friend can challenge each other to see how many people you can talk to in a given time frame.
Always go knowing what you want to get out of the experience—tips? advice? feedback?
Always go with something to give—a business or job lead, a referral, etc.
Analyze your results. You have permission to drop things that aren't working after a reasonable amount of time.

Do you have favorite networking tips? Please let us know, regardless if they're for introverts or extroverts!

10 Ways to Break Through Your Work Life

2007-04-02T09:05:00.001-04:00

Ready for a breakthrough? Lifehack offers 10 tips for creating a breakthrough in your working life. One of my favorites is "Make mistakes joyfully."

This is a startling concept for a girl who had a Catholic school education. Mistakes? They were the equivalent of mortal sins.

But as the Lifehack poster writes—and I think it's true—"The person who’s afraid to make a mistake is afraid to make anything. You won’t get it right first time. You probably still won’t get it right the third, fifth or tenth time. But if you keep trying—joyfully making those mistakes and learning more each time—you will get it right in the end."

Amen and hallelujah.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find Out What It Means to Me

2007-02-02T20:23:00.000-05:00

Not surprising: respect tops the list of values workers hold dear. The Canadian Council of Human Resources Associations reports in a white paper that older workers value deference, baby-boomers value respect. Last time I looked, so did Gen-X and Gen-Y. Well, technically, the white paper said that Gen-X valued empowerment. That’s sort of a variation on respect, though, isn’t it?

Incidentally, all you baby boomers out there will recognize a nod to Aretha's song in the title of this post. Enjoy your trip down memory lane!

Flexible Work Schedules Getting More Attention

2006-12-28T16:34:00.000-05:00

BenefitNews.com reports that flexible workplaces are getting more attention. This past Fall, Houston's mayor challenged companies to implement flexible work options for two weeks. The results? On two of the city's major freeways, 32,000 rush-hour commuters saved more than 5.8% in travel time.

And on December 11, NPR reported that box store Best Buy's corporate office had implemented a Results Only management policy that fosters true flextime. As long as employees get their jobs done, they are free to work whenever and wherever they want. The focus is on results, not face-time.

That sounds like good news for employees who are savvy about managing their time and their other resources. (I'm always amused at how many people tell me they don't think they could work at home, because it would be too distracting. I find, and others who have moved from a corporate to a home office have told me, that productivity soars because there are fewer interruptions.)

An interesting outcome of Best Buy's new policy—other than the fact that now 40% of its corporate employees have opted to work this way—is that it has forced management and employees to really get clear about what they want and expect workers to do. That kind of clarity is itself a boon to productivity.

What's it like at your workplace? If you are not already telecommuting, would you want to be? And are you the kind of employee who could make it work?

Continuing the Theme of Personal Sustainability

2006-11-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

A few years ago I began experimenting, in small ways, with personal sustainability: I deliberately downsized my holiday “to-do” list. I wanted to savor the holidays rather than just survive them.

Sure enough, taking this approach paid off. I took time off from work, decided not to send holiday cards, put up a tree (my first in six years!), celebrated at home rather than traveling out of town, went to the movies, and generally lived in the moment. It felt great—and more importantly, sane.

I first learned about personal sustainability when I interviewed John Engels for a story I was writing on how teachers stay passionate about their craft ("Reinvigorating Your Passion for Teaching," NBEA Keying In, November 2004). Engels directs Life Migrations in Boulder, Colorado. “Personal sustainability” is his twist on the ecological concept of harvesting or using a resource so that the resource is not depleted or permanently damaged.

Engels says we are all ecosystems nested in other ecosystems (families, schools, communities, nations, the world). High-functioning ecosystems are open, interconnected, adaptive, and self- regulating; energy flows freely, and "energy out" never exceeds "energy in." To practice personal sustainability, Engel recommends spending time observing where you get and lose energy, and where energy may be out of balance.

"[Just by doing this] your level of awareness skyrockets," Engel says.

So that is my wish for you this holiday: that you, too, will practice personal sustainability in a way that makes your energy free-flowing. So you can live in the present moment, energy out equal to or less than energy in.

Julia Cameron writes about a similar concept, Artist Dates, in her book, The Artist's Way. But that's another post, for another day.

Happy holidays!

The Case for Personal Sustainability

2006-10-31T16:11:00.000-05:00

Lately I’ve heard lots of people mention how long they’ve been working. 12-hour days. 30 hours at a stretch to get out a proposal.

I’m guilty of this, too. In fact, two weeks ago, I attended a conference where 12- and 14-hour days were the norm (full disclosure: I wasn’t “on call” the whole time but got to attend sessions as well as work at them). When I got home, I worked long and hard to catch up on all the unfinished business that accumulated while I was out of the office, and to meet my current writing deadlines.

It cost me. I had severe neck and shoulder pain for more than a week, even after repeated applications of yoga and a myotherapy massage. No one could explain the reason for the pain.

But I think I know what caused the trauma—the long hours, and the lugging of a bagful of books, pamphlets, and other paraphernalia, including my laptop, and the walking long and far on hard surfaces like concrete and concrete-covered linoleum, even though I wore flats (I gave up heels long ago) that unfortunately had nowhere near the support of my typical off-duty shoes: clogs, sandals, running shoes.

No, I’m not complaining or looking for a merit badge. I realize that the pain was my body reminding me to take better care of myself.

I am the only one who can do this. And so I did. I took five days away from the office—and my laptop—to give my body a break, and to refresh my mind by hiking.

Maybe you’ve been working long hours and though you’re not exactly complaining, you’re sort of proud of your work ethic. Maybe your body hasn’t called you on it yet—at least not overtly. But it will.

Metaphysical mumbo-jumbo? Not so to the NIH, which is funding a research study to explore the connection between environmental stress and human diseases. Here’s what the NIH Call for Research says:

Everyday stressors from one’s environment modulate physiological pathways, leading to transient and permanent biological changes. … Exposure to stressors can lead to alterations in nuclear, cellular, or organ system function and/or structure. These changes can be characterized at molecular, cellular, or physiologic levels and measured grossly in target tissues.

I hope that the next time you hear yourself telling your friend, your partner, or a business acquaintance how much you’ve been working, you’ll stop and ask yourself what it’s going to cost—and if there's a better way.

A work ethic is a good thing. But so is personal sustainability.

Because even though it’s hard and goes against our work-addicted culture, you are the only one who can take care of yourself. And the only one who really wants to.

Incentives for Telework

2006-09-30T15:52:00.000-04:00

Women in Technology's (WIT) Advocacy Committee reports that Virginia's Governor Kaine just recently announced the creation of the Office of Telework Promotion and Broadband Assistance to promote telework in the public and private sector.

This is interesting news for Virginia's commuters, and a long time coming since the first telecommuting experiment debuted in 1974.

But technology was an impediment, until the development of local area networks (LANs) in the 1980s. In the 1990s, there was a resurgence of interest in telework when Clean Air amendments were adopted and PCs were more common in homes. In fact the International Society for Performance Improvement sponsored what seemed to be a leading-edge session on telecommuting in the 1990s, handing out bumper stickers that said "Reduce Road Rage—Telecommute."

Why is it taking so long for businesses and governmental agencies to explore telecommuting as a solution to gridlock and to the problem of keeping businesses up and running in the event of natural or manmade disasters?

The WIT report says agencies are reluctant to embrace telework because of two key issues: (1) broadband access, and (2) concerns about productivity. So Virginia's General Assemby established a joint legislative subcommittee to study the issue, review managers' concerns, and develop performance measures designed to show managers that teleworkers can be just as efficient, if not more efficient, than their office counterparts.

What about you? Does your office endorse telework? What have you found with respect to "lessons learned"? Please post a comment.

And if you'd like more info, here are some resources on the subject:
Telework opportunities
Info on Washington, DC, Telecommuting Centers
Telecommute-friendly companies

Corporate Blogging, Anyone?

2006-08-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

A blog may be in your company’s future, and Debbie Weil’s The Corporate Blogging Book is an excellent how-to guide for getting it right.

An aside: If you know me at all, you know I discount hype. It makes me crabby and all too often I'm let down when I actually get the final product.

I'm pleased to report that this book, despite its advance hype, does not disappoint. It’s a definite keeper.

Weil provides the necessary background on the first, second, and third waves of blogging. But only what’s necessary. From then on her book is an easy-to-read primer on everything you need to know about blogging, like

o writing a blog people want to read,

o using blogs to create two-way communication with customers,

o launching the thing, including what you need to know about tools and technology, and

o making the case for a corporate blog to your CEO, in case she's not as market-savvy as she could be.

Weil also provides a well-stocked “Bonus Resources” section that includes, among other things, sample blogging policies and guidelines, a glossary, and an annotated blog entry and blog home page.

Best of all, she practices what she preaches. Noting that a blog should be written in a “compelling bloggy voice that invites interaction with readers,” Weil does likewise. The text is extremely accessible and personable—exactly the kind of model to use for putting a face on a megacorporation.

And given what I’ve said about hype earlier, to her credit, Weil does not cheerlead. Rather than “rah-rah” blogging, she presents compelling and well-researched examples of the pros and the pitfalls associated with starting and maintaining a blog.

To my surprise and delight, I give this book five stars.

Here are two more reviews of Weil’s book, in case you want more than my perspective:

Corporate Blogging: Great Liberator or Oxymoron?

Meryl's Book Review of The Corporate Blogging Book

Beach Reads for Business

2006-08-01T14:04:00.000-04:00

Every summer publishers and book reviewers print their pics for best beach reads, usually novels.

So, seeing as how it's August and great getaway-to-the-beach time, here are my pics—for business. See what you think.

Orbiting the Giant Hairball (Gordon MacKenzie)
Got this one—my current favorite—as a gift from Marguerete Luter, president of Women in Technology (WIT), when I jointed the WIT Leadership Team this spring as Vice Chair of the Communications Committee. The book's subtitle is A Corporate Fool's Guide to Surviving with Grace and it's a joy. All about awakening and fostering creative genius.

The Art of the Start (Guy Kawasaki)
As the jacket says, "the time-tested, battle-hardened guide for anyone starting anything"—and that's most of us at any given time, whether we're entrepreneurs or intrapreneurs. Confession: haven't started it yet, but it's on my "read next" shelf.

A Woman's Guide to Successful Negotiating (Lee E. Miller and Jessica Miller)
A father and daughter team wrote this book. How can you resist this promise from the back cover? "Get what you want—in every aspect of your life—without having to compromise who you are."

Who Moved My Cheese? (Spencer Johnson, MD)
A classic, and I've re-read it at the suggestion of a dear friend and colleague. It's all about dealing with, anticipating, even embracing, change. Now that's a hard one! So I'm glad Johnson wrote this compassionate and humorous book. It makes his insights easier to accept.

In Praise of Networks -- and Thanks to Nam Pho

2006-06-20T17:10:00.000-04:00

Seeing that I'm sending this from a writers' conference, I suppose I should wax poetic. But in this case I hope a simple thank you will do.

A thank you for the generosity (and good record-keeping) of the people in my network, for connecting me with computer experts who advised me on what might be going on with my computer crash (see previous post). In the end, Nam Pho, in Manassas, VA, diagnosed the problem and was able to retrieve my data. I was back up much sooner than I expected!

A thank you to Nam and a thank you to Chris Montone, for referring me to Nam.

Readers, if you'd like to keep Nam's phone number in your file for just such emergencies (but he also does other computer things, too), let me know.

On the Job and Feeling like Job

2006-06-02T23:07:00.000-04:00

You remember Job, the biblical character who experienced tribulations that severely tested his faith? I really empathize with that man. It's been one of those weeks.

Last Tuesday, my computer crashed. Yes, Virginia, I backup regularly. I even had a backup for my backups—an external hard drive.

Guess what? The backup drive failed, too.

It doesn't appear to be a simple crash. Several things may be going on: a possibly failing hard drive, a definitely defective power supply, a potentially fried motherboard or chip. Maybe even a virus—though I have AVG antivirus, which updates almost daily.

Except for the inconvenience of having to reload the operating system and all the programs (it's unbelievable how many programs I use just to get my work done), it may not be a truly terrible scenario. At least that's what I'm hoping. Before I closed up shop for the week before the crash, I saved all the document files I'd worked on in the last month. And, with any good luck, I'll be able to reinstall Roxio and restore my archives for the months and years before that.

It's been an interesting experience, and here's what I've learned:

1. Have a couple of backup systems in place. Then check every now and then to make sure they're working and that you're able to access your files.

2. Let people know what's going on, especially if you keep your calendar on your computer and have scheduled recent appointments that for one reason or another escaped the backup (as happened to me). If nothing else, you get lots of sympathy. In my case, I got sympathy, empathy (two colleagues had just gone through this in the last couple of months), and bona fide references of computer guys who have been wonderful at helping me deal with the crash—Thank you, Generous Network! I also got reminders of the appointment details I'd lost.

3. As my friend and colleague Paula Tarnapol Whitacre says, "It's just stuff." Deal with it, but then relax and know you're doing the best you can, and that soon this, too, shall pass.

4. Even though you've got tons of catch-up to do, take time to breathe. Then take a walk, and have lunch or dinner with a friend. It makes you feel like a human being again, not just a human doing.

5. As the Buddhists like to say, life is impermanent. I find it helps to react to these kinds of losses with curiosity (once I get over the initial panic, of course!). On the practical level, as a result of this crash, I may simplify how I organize my data files. It's something I've been putting off for awhile . . . now here's an excellent opportunity to try out a new system.

Meanwhile, I'm striving for equanimity and patience. Wish me luck.

Women Not Welcomed in Technology--and What to Do About It

2006-05-02T08:48:00.000-04:00

Kids like technology when it helps them do what they want to do—which often includes subverting parents. Women, on the other hand, don't feel welcome in the technology world. The number of women entering the field has dropped substantially in recent years.

No, I'm not making this up. The information came from two champions of women in the workplace: Claudia Morrell, Director of the Center for Women and Information Technology, University of Maryland–Baltimore Campus, and Heather Foust-Cummings, Director of Research at Catalyst, Inc. Morrell and Foust-Cummings spoke at the April W.I.T. Connect, held at the Ritz-Carlton in Tysons Corner, VA: Will Girls in Technology Become Women in Technology?

Women don't feel welcome in the technology sector for several reasons, Foust-Cummings said: the need for mentoring is not being met, companies are not recruiting and developing their talent, and this field that more than any other allows a virtual workplace is still not offering the flexible work hours that todays' employees want and need.

Some of these things will change eventually, Foust-Cummings said—and the changes will need to be initiated by top management. In the meantime, here's her advice for women who want to forge ahead:

1. Take individual responsibility for your own advancement, but understand that there are real, systemic barriers working against you (rather than blaming yourself if you don't move up as fast as you'd like).

2. Get P&L (profit and loss) experience. This is a key attribute of women on the move.

3. Stay informed. Find ways to work within the system.

4. Create your own networks, for example, through organizations like Women in Technology and MentorNet.

5. Finally, put up with the discomfort.

"The challenge is we have to feel uncomfortable," Morrell said. "You can't create change without discomfort."

Purple Tulips

2006-04-13T21:57:00.000-04:00

I bought myself a bunch of purple tulips today. That's all. It felt great. I feel great. I know I'm going to have a great day.

Did you know that purple's the color of creativity? Get you some! And have a great day.

On (Not) Playing by the Rules

2006-04-12T20:30:00.000-04:00

You might remember the book (which then became a play) Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich's undercover story about the millions of Americans who work full time for poverty wages.

Now she's written its white collar twin:
Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream.

I haven't read it—I'm not sure I want to. Because she says if you go to college, play by the rules, and stick by your employer, you too often end up in financial ruin.

That's not what I want to hear.

Then again, maybe that's why I wrote Mentor Me, and why I created a 10-Step Mentor Me Action Plan. Ehrenreich's research notwithstanding, I'd like to believe we have a hand in our own destiny. And if that means breaking the rules (responsibly) when it serves your larger purpose, when you want to matter—then it's all good.

Just ask former AOL Insider Mary Foley, who has made it her business to matter to lots of working women, like you, who want to live large. Mary transformed herself from a "good girl" who played by the rules into a Bodacious Woman who lives life like her nail color. Bodaciously!

Check her out—She's got some great bodacious ways.

Then go ahead—live life like you matter. Because you do.